Standardized Hand Signals For Close Range Engagement (C.R.E.) Operations

"Come This Way"

"Listen or I Hear"

"Whoa, whoa whoa....You fuckin' talkin' to ME?"

"Let's all run at him like Hacksaw Jim Duggan."

"Can you grab a bandage real quick? I think I may have been shot."

"I mean, if you don't cup the balls then why even show up?"

"OF COURSE while doing this! What are you, 12?!"

Fart Joke

Caption Contest

A few examples:

"Michelle! Michelle! Can you believe this sleeping bitch next to me?"

"What a beautiful, young, intelligent woman. So vibrant and full of life. She'll get into my country club over my dead fucking body, but full of life nonetheless."

"Fucking priceless. She's gonna have full access to the presidency and Barrack-hard boners for the next four years while I'm stuck in Texas playing golf with Yahoo McPencildick."

"Born in 1964? Please. By then I'd already killed a guy."

"If it weren't for that Goddamned hyper-agreeable Will Smith, non of this shit would have ever happened in the first place."

"We were about to dismiss this bitch as yet another Boomer-era, Uber-WASP when our dick slapped our brain in the face and was like wait just a doggone minute...We would rather eat shrimp off your genitalia like an aardvark on the savanna." (Guest Example Post Submitted By Vice Magazine)

powdered donuts...eh

Maybe its just me, but I always want to like powdered donuts. They always look delicious in the box or on the rack. Starring back at you with its powdery glow, enticing you to pick it out of the plethora of choices. And what happens every time? It sucks. One of two things happen. It is either dry and therefore making you need some sort of beverage, or it has that kind of stale "i was made 14 hours ago" taste. I'm just saying whats the point? I know it is my fault for picking it, but I am just waiting to have a better experience every time. Down with the powdered demon.

I have gotten some great responses on this and I felt the need to post one of my faves from my good friend Brittany:

"Here's what I hate about powdered donuts, everytime I get one I always inhale right before I take a bite and then the powder gets down my throat and I cough and if I don't inhale, I exhale and then that fucking powder gets all over my face and clothes

JUST SAYING!"