Caption Contest

A few examples:

"Michelle! Michelle! Can you believe this sleeping bitch next to me?"

"What a beautiful, young, intelligent woman. So vibrant and full of life. She'll get into my country club over my dead fucking body, but full of life nonetheless."

"Fucking priceless. She's gonna have full access to the presidency and Barrack-hard boners for the next four years while I'm stuck in Texas playing golf with Yahoo McPencildick."

"Born in 1964? Please. By then I'd already killed a guy."

"If it weren't for that Goddamned hyper-agreeable Will Smith, non of this shit would have ever happened in the first place."

"We were about to dismiss this bitch as yet another Boomer-era, Uber-WASP when our dick slapped our brain in the face and was like wait just a doggone minute...We would rather eat shrimp off your genitalia like an aardvark on the savanna." (Guest Example Post Submitted By Vice Magazine)