I read an article the other day that gave me perhaps the most useless medical advice I've ever read. In it, the article advised it's readers to "make sure to keep your toothbrush at least 14 feet away from your toilet," lest it gets infected with poo-particles that apparently fly around everywhere every time you flush.
Upon reading this pearl of wisdom, I immediately wondered: Who is this message supposed to be directed at?
Who the hell has a bathroom so big that you can put your toothbrush 14 feet away from ANYTHING!! I actually took the time to measure this out, and my fucking PILLOW isn't 14 feet away from my toilet. My bathroom is so small I almost have to put one foot in my dryer when I take a shit.
What other pieces of ultra-practical advice does the medical establishment have for us? To keep your underwear at least 400 feet away from your Maserati? To always keep your house slippers and yacht slippers separate? To make sure your Nintendo Wii controllers never, EVER come within 1,000 feet of your live, Bengal tiger?
I guess those of us who don't have 400 square foot bathrooms with rain showers are just going to have to wake up every morning and continue to clean our teeth with the poop-brush just like the other 99.9% of the world.
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