Entourage is an escapist fantasy that belongs on "The CW." And an unfunny one at that."Did you see the last Entourage?"
I discovered the other day that I'm the only person on earth who thinks that the show Entourage is terrible. It's weird, frankly, to discover yourself on a veritable island of personal taste--a bastion of negativity surrounded by a raging party of people delighting in a show so escapist, it makes Mormonism seem grounded. How did this show (that should be entitled "Hey, look how much fun it must be to be rich!") become more popular than pussy, golden retreivers and Facebook all put together?
Because honestly, if you actually broke down the show piece-by-piece, I would estimate that there's about 12 minutes of actual dialogue in the entire program. And what little, always unfunny dialogue does occur, is simply used to set up the next music montage of hot girls and jet-skis. The show is a 45 minute long rap video with white people.
Are we that desperate as a society? Look, I would love to get bottle service while two girls take turns blowing me, too. But that doesn't mean I'm going to sit around and live vicariously through a bunch of bland, fame-whores making averagely witty remarks to each other followed by the fourth music montage of the hour featuring a really cool pool party.
Since Entourage is such an international hit, I have my own idea for a show: It's starring Patrick Dempsey as a a playboy millionaire who solves mysteries with his small, Jewish, comic-relief friend and about 400 aspiring models. The show will be called Cold Hard Cash, with Dempsey playing the main character, Rick Cash. Each episode will consist of a 22 minute, slow-motion, music packed shot of Dempsey getting road-head from a model in his green Enzo as he cruises LA. Then, for the obligatory unbridled hilarity, his less-attractive Jewish friend in the back seat will say "Hey Rick, I thought we were DOING blow in your car, not GETTING blown!" Ha!! And then Rick will look up directions to the next destination on his MacBook Pro with the apple logo facing the camera.
End Scene. I think we've got a hit on our hands.
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6 comments:
i would totally watch your show....i dont think patrick would be up for it though. he races cars and gets roadhead in real life, all the time.
thanks for letting me know how you feel. i'll try to remember how bad your taste is when buying your next birthday gift. let's see, season 1 of 'according to jim' or the latest maroon 5 cd. tough call...
how can you be jewish and not love ari gold to death?
I actually have to agree with you. Entourage is overrated... I want it to go away... I want the series to crash and burn and all DVDs and Blurays of the series crapped on by a herd of rampaging elephants with the runs!
what's not to love about ari gold if you are a jew? i understand the affinity. a short, hairy, toupee wearing, male who makes up for his obvious masculine short comings by swearing and trying to be funnier (swear more) than the younger guys. everyone knows a father like that and it is not funny to be with them, it is uncomfortable. seriously though, it is a really bold character, a jewish power broker in LA. the role is really ground breaking. if you are looking for jewish icons to rally around, stick to the classics, sandy koufax, ron Jeremy, jesus. ari is more of an iconoclast. l’chaim.
-von
I hate Entourage. But also, the apostrophe in "jet-ski's" doesn't belong there, unless the jet ski in question owns something.
Yes, really.
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