Generation XXX

In his new book, "The Porning of America," Kevin Scott claims that as many as 85 percent of teens aged 13 to 14 have accessed sexually explicit content at least once.  

Here are some of the more surprising ways that teenagers are exposed to sexual materials on a daily basis:

-Flintstones Birth Control Pills

-Marc Jacobs announces that for fall 2008: "booty shorts are the new black"

-Nintendo Wii are going to have sex right now

-If you actually look closely at the box, Count Chocula has an erection

-Unlike previous generations, today's children are born with a bizarre brain malfunction in which they are not cripplingly ashamed of the human body

-2009 Toyota Camry has up to five lube holders 

-Today's teens know that there ever comes a day when they don't have constant access to large, glistening breasts, the terrorists have truly won

-Somehow, according to Title 9, handjobs are an official ISHA sport  

-Young people of today might be even more promiscuous if it weren't for the principled, righteous examples set by Bill Clinton, Gary Hart, James McGreevey, Gary Condit, Mark Foley, Bob Livingston, Jim West, Larry Craig, Ted Kennedy, Elliot Spitzer, Clarence Thomas, Rudy Giuliani, Barny Frank, Kwame Kilpatrick, Newt Gingrich, Bob Allen, Fred Richmond and Jack Ryan